Elster's World

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Sad Scene Indeed

Editor's Note: A more serious new post directly below this one - But there is no way I could let this piece of news go without comment:

Jocelyn Bell Burnell approaches the former giant, a look of both sadness and apology on her face. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Sorry about what?" came the deep, throaty reply.

"Um, I'm not exactly sure how to tell you this.."

"Just spit it out. There are revolutions to be made."

"Spit it out, right," she replied, still clearly nervous. "You see, the thing is, we voted and you are out."

"Out?" came the question.

"Out," she replied.

"I'm not following."

She sighed. "This is really hard for me, ok? You see, you aren't a planet anymore. You are too small to be a planet. The experts took a big vote and you lost. You are now a dwarf planet and the solar system only has eight full planets."

"A dwarf pl... are you serious? I've been a named planet since 1930. That's seventy-six years young lady. And I've been revolving around the sun for longer than I care to even remember."

"Yes but under the new guidelines, a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. You, Pluto, are automatically disqualified because your oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's."

"My oblong orbit overlaps..." Pluto shakes its northern half in wonder. "You humans never cease to amaze me. I suppose now I'm in the same classification with Ceres and UB313 right?" Pluto said, unable to keep the sarcasm from its voice.

"Um, well, yeah, you are in fact. Well, have a nice solar year Mr. Pluto," she said and re-boarded NASA'a New Horizon's spacecraft for her return voyage to Earth.

"Get bent," Pluto replied.


  • Hehehe...shoulda put that one in Storytellers, Elster!

    By Blogger Scraps, at 4:12 PM  

  • Alas, this is not fiction....

    By Blogger Elster, at 4:37 PM  

  • Very clever - and funny!

    By Blogger MC Aryeh, at 4:20 AM  

  • Is Jocelyn Bell Burnell a real person? Great name.

    By Blogger MC Aryeh, at 4:21 AM  

  • Mc - She was the moderator at the conventon in the Czech republic where they just voted to strip PLuto of its planethood.

    Seriously, you cannot make stuff like this up.

    All the names in here are real - New Horizons is a long range ship on a 9 year mission to the farther planets, Ceres and UB313 are existing dwarf planets - heck, why wrie fiction when real life is so much fun??

    By Blogger Elster, at 9:12 AM  

  • Thanks to CNN.com for the story.

    By Blogger Elster, at 9:12 AM  

  • Nice job!!

    Poor Pluto...

    By Blogger Sara, at 12:36 PM  

  • There's a song about this. Here's a link to the lyrics

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:40 PM  

  • Nebech!

    By Blogger Eshet Chayil, at 8:25 PM  

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