Elster's World

Friday, February 24, 2006

Emasculation Proclamation

Emasculated. It’s no longer just an obscure, meaningless word for me. It now actually describes what I have become. Allow me to explain.

Within 24 hours of Isaiah Thomas turning the Knicks into an even bigger joke than they were prior to that, my wife made me “spend quality time” with her by flipping between Dancing with the Stars and Female Long Program Ice Skating tape delayed from Torino. When I already knew what happened. Is this grounds for divorce? Can I get a ruling here?

But just to show what a good guy I am, I didn’t tell her that Sasha Cohen fell on her first two jumps until the split second before she was going to actually jump – at which point I yelled “OH!” before anything actually happened. Hey, when you are being emasculated, you need to make your own good time.

And don’t even get me started on Dancing with the Stars. If you think I’m emasculated, what the Hell is up with Jerry Rice?

Well, I’m off to eat red meat and play football – and try to pick up the shattered remains of my masculinity.


  • You are a better husband than me, albeit less of a man.

    I informed my wife at the outset that the figure skating performances were abysmal, that Sasha Cohen fell twice and her competition did little better. After around 30 minutes of figure skating, she agreed that it was a waste of time and allowed me to put on an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

    Well, on Sunday, I'll be off to playing the role of Mr. Mom to my son who calls me "mimme" – and try to lose the remains of my masculinity. (Though I do hope to get a babysitter and go to the 6 P.M. Nets game.)

    By Blogger Joe Schick, at 12:49 PM  

  • Hee hee hee. After I play football on Sunday, my wife wants too look at jewelry. I think it's time to feign a stomach virus.

    By Blogger Elster, at 1:46 PM  

  • No problem - try ice.com. She could look at jewelry while you eat your rib steak.

    By Blogger Joe Schick, at 2:44 PM  

  • *Bwah ha ha*

    That's funniness.

    By Blogger Miss Nibbles, at 3:06 AM  

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