Elster's World

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Story Time, Part II (A Summer Storm)

The storm came at us with no finesse or grace, more like like an untrained boxer than a ballet dancer. All raw power and wild punches. The clouds blackened the daytime sky. Wind whipped though the trees, shaking branches and dropping leaves, as though Fall had suddenly sprung from the midst of summer.

The first few precursor drops of rain fell, fat and wet, striking the ground in an oddly abstract pattern. We ran for cover, some to the gazeebo in the middle of the park's green field, others under trees; until the lightning cut the sky with its violent electric pulse and drove them to more secure shelter. Thunder hammered and the skies grew angry and violet/black as night.

With a sudden gush, the heavens opened up and clounds emptied their built-up deposits upon the Earth in a violent frenzy of pouring water. It came in unrelenting sheets, as though there was a never ending supply to rain dowm upon the town.

But then, almost as quickly as it came, it was over. The torrential downpour became a light mist, as the final traces of wind blew the storm clouds out. The sky returned, an inspiring rain-washed blue. It's beauty hurt the eyes.

We came out of the Gazeebo, past the dripping overhand and onto the green grass. It was soaked in summer wetness. But we didn't care. The rain had come but it was gone. The day was ours once again.


  • Very well written, powerful and descriptive. is this a portion from your book or an independant writing?

    By Blogger The Real Neo, at 4:01 PM  

  • Independant writing. I actually just felt the need to write it as I sat here. I actually don't like it. It was intentionally (in my opinion anyway) over-descriptive. I just felt the need to get it out of my syste,

    By Blogger Elster, at 4:11 PM  

  • You have a nice way with metaphor.

    By Blogger AnySara, at 4:34 PM  

  • Thanks

    By Blogger Elster, at 4:54 PM  

  • Well, we are always our worst ctitics aren't we? I think it gets its power from the descriptiveness, over the top or otherwise. I think one mark of a good writer is the author's ability to draw you into their emotion, and you did that.

    By Blogger The Real Neo, at 11:37 AM  

  • Elster, I enjoyed our exchange on semgirl's blog... hopped on over to get to know you a bit better via your blog. great piece!

    Intentionally overdescriptive, yeah = but ah... so powerful.

    I'm a writer-at-heart myself. Love the power of words. Love when someone does with words what you did with this.

    By Blogger turquoiseblue, at 11:06 AM  

  • Tahnks T. I have a longer, more drawn out story back in July if you are interested.

    I shall be adding you blog to my "favorites" at work.

    By Blogger Elster, at 11:43 AM  

  • Or as you don't have one, I won't.

    By Blogger Elster, at 11:52 AM  

  • maybe some day soon. Meantime, I'll be "raiding" other peoples comment boxes...

    Elster - would you change the background color of your blog? it is SO difficult to read text on black background...

    see ya around.

    By Blogger turquoiseblue, at 11:31 PM  

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